Thursday, March 4, 2010
Embracing adventure (I ♥ Chania)
I often miss Greece. Even just the act of uploading these photos break my little heart... All those memories!
For you who don't already know, I used to live on the island of Crete, in the town of Chania (or Hania or Xania or however you choose to spell it). 1996 I came there on vacation for the first time, and just fell, head over heals (think it was wedges), in love with the town. Ever since then I kept going back as if this place was the home I had been born into. I felt alive there.
In Sweden, sure I was living and well (my family rocks - don't get me wrong) but never felt as if I was meant to stay there. Crete was the island that made me bloom, made me flourish in life and all it had to offer, it is where I grew up.
I worked briefly in a hotel, selling boat tickets, as a waitress but in the end the bartender occupation got its hooks in me, and I adored it!
Since my bartender days in Chania, I have still not found a place where I feel is as much as my home as there. Sometimes I feel like I found what I was always looking for but foolishly left it behind. But is this true?
I just read an article in yoga journal (March 2010 by J. Kramer and D. Alstad), called "wishful thinking". And it sure got me thinking. What is it that we all are searching for? A home? Happiness? All we want really is to feel good, that is what drives us.
But as the article says, what we actually are seeking is a product of desire; an expectation already planted in our minds. The moments I miss Greece and think that I cannot possibly feel such satisfaction again, are what they are; memories. The only thing we can seek that way, in fact, is sadly the known. And of course when I am feeling down or like life isn't going my way Greece will pop up inside my head. My brain automatically places Greece as the place where everything will be alright. After all that is where I as a 'new' adult first learned the importance of living my dreams. Its a big part of what made me 'me today'.
OK, this is getting a bit long, but all I am saying is maybe we (I) need to stop searching for that, stop looking back. Like I said, the only thing we search for is what we already know. And I know today that it is not about where you are that makes the magic, it is always you that is the creator. Pleasure leads to desire and desire leads - sometimes - to fear/confusion or suffering (a form of change).
But most important remember this, it is also ONLY trough suffering - change - that one gets to experience the fantastic adventures of the unknown! (And it also happens to fuel the evolutionary growth!)
But Chania, you know, one day I will be back!